Spiritually spanking, do you doubt the divinity in my weirdness?

I am the one and only Wonder Weirdo. The magnificent wielder of the Rubber Chicken of doom. I have a mayonnaise fetish from outer space and the power to shoot down satellites with lightning from my wang. Those amongst you who doubt the divinity of my weirdness will be face the wrath of my midget army armed with used sex toys. Fear and Tremble and the magnificence that is my weirdness.